|Not fighting - they got something in their shoes|
so they were cleaning them out
Having children is an enormous joy and responsibility. Having three is like living on a roller coaster, and I hate roller coasters. Now before you start fussing about my attitude, understand that it isn't the children that are the issue. The real problem for me is the amount of confusion and upheaval that comes with those same children. And yes, I knew roughly what having children entailed. I ought to seeing as I am the oldest of eleven.
When I was preparing to leave the hospital after my first, the nurse asked me if I had any questions about how to care for my baby. I told her that I was the oldest of eleven children to which she responded, well then, you know everything. I told her that I had a pretty good handle on things and that if I had any questions that I have a really good person to go to with those questions.
And I was right about having a fairly good idea of what was coming. What I didn't know was how different my mother and I really are. A couple of years later my mother and I were talking and she says that I am much more like my grandmother than I am like her. My grandmother had a hard time with the amount of confusion that comes with more than one child. I have had quite a few people ask me if I would have as many children as my mother. I have a stock answer for that question now. My answer is this, "My mother is an amazing woman. I am not my mother." And this is not to say that I feel that she is better than me, but she has a different temperament than I do.
I am also not saying that I don't like being in a large family. There is nothing that can compare with a large family. Believe me it gets a bit crazy when there are 18 grand kids running around my parents' property, but I also wouldn't trade it for anything. Mind you I have 4 unmarried siblings, so those numbers will rise in the future.
I am saying that I have a very hard time dealing with the fighting and bickering that children will do from time to time. Granted at this point in time, it sometimes seems like that is all that they do when they are together. I have tried to teach them why this behavior is unacceptable. Unfortunately, they don't seem to have taken these lessons to heart recently.
As a result of the recent attitude issues I am trying very hard to find things that I can praise them for since I am doing so much correction. I find that it makes a big difference in the way that they respond to correction if it is balanced with praise for right behavior. I think part of the reason for this is that they know that I am paying attention even when they are not as irritating.
So earlier this week, I was having a very busy day. ( I started doing parties this year for the soap and body products part of my business.) I had a party scheduled for the next day and a huge list of things to get accomplished. I had stopped by my dad's shop, I don't even remember why at this point, but I was discussing a few things with his secretary. It was a beautiful day so all three of my children were outside playing. We looked out of the window and all three children were sitting on a curb, in age order no less. They were sitting there pulling off their shoes and were not fighting or being hateful to each other. I quickly pulled out my phone to take a picture. (I love having that capability.)
I know that there will always be days when I just want to crawl in a hole and pull all of the dirt in after me, but I am grateful that there are also those days to let you know that you haven't lost the battle. The ones that tell you that your lessons are not being completely ignored. And right now those are the days that I live for.
So if you are a new parent or just one in need of a word of encouragement, don't give up. Remember that Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither will your children be trained in a day. Don't give up when it seems like your children will never learn what you want them to learn. (They will always however learn the things that you would rather that they didn't, like the attitudes and actions that we display when we are frustrated or angry.) Hang in there and live for the good days. Remember that if you can maintain your sanity and be consistent then your hard work will pay off.